In being a victim of has its advantages. Thus, for example, can always be incapable helpless. And often, someone is there to help, to comfort, to shoulder in the end. Often, but not always.
Victims are rarely happy. Only if we will fall Executioner kind, understanding and prone to self-sacrifice. Minded enough to drag myself to the unfortunate victim of a lifetime, asking nothing in return, and receiving only tears, reproaches and complaints. But this executioner and victim himself.
How do you picture? Meanwhile, a woman, to which, according to the poet's "come in a variety of leisure hectic wrong" - a typical representative of the class of victims. After falling in love with the "bad guy" is still a little (just a modicum!) Torment, to be the victim of, postenat and bask in someone's pity. Well, who does not regret the lady, which were not so lucky in love?
And what to do about it? Realize to begin with. Aware of his sacrificial position. Where did it come from? Victims are not born - they become. How? There are many factors.
The first - the behavior of the parents. If Dad smokes, the son will also smoke, if the mother passively tolerate violence (psychological or physical), the daughter most likely will follow this scenario. Children learn behavior patterns of parents!
The second factor - a ban on the expression of emotion in the family. "Nedolyublennosti" and nedolaskannye girls looking for love and affection, not differing thus legible. What makes love to the "bad boy"? Something that does not give the family - a storm of emotions, bright Brazilian passion, spontaneity and ease displays of emotion.
The third factor is also rooted in the parental family. In many families, a system to encourage "you to me - I told you." Emotional blackmail child from the parents (the best of intentions!) Manifested in situations where the child receives praise, affection and other manifestations of love only when acting as "good".
Simply put, he formed the installation that "love is necessary to deserve." That deserves girls love boys who, in fact, rarely are able to love. After all, the "bad guys" their "cockroaches" under the skull.
Another factor is also based on the sacrificial position. After all, it is passive. The victim only takes - the blows of fate, trouble, something else. Subconsciously, she understands that nothing good from the novel with a "bad guy" will not work.
That is, either be followed by a break, or it will get a personal tyranny. Both options allow her to remain in the position of victims without doing anything (and sense something?) Steps to change the situation.
Understanding all of the above - the first step on the road to psychological recovery, change of life scenarios and patterns of behavior. The second step should be educating yourself self-esteem. Only ceased to be a victim, learn to appreciate and respect themselves, allowing himself to wish for himself as best you can count on the fact that the "bad guys" will no longer appear in a woman's life.