The easiest and most effective way to maintain good or at least neutral attitude - is to live separately. So once removed many of the most pressing problems, and the farther you live from in-law, the better the relationship.
Try not to use her help with children and household matters, and if you can not do without the support of her mother in law, then get ready to bravely endure all her comments, advice and intervention in your life. But before we get irritated and argue in response to her criticism and comments, think not it be easier to listen to all will be calm, and then do what you need.
Congratulate mother in law with the holidays and always present opportunities it presents. Like most women, she also loves gifts and various cute little things. From in-law accept gifts and greetings with gratitude, even if a present - a cheap and tasteless thing. After you can safely remove this gift away or throw away, do not complicate relations, showing their displeasure.
The most important and most difficult - is to try not to adjust the husband against her mother in law. Do not forget that this is for you it is the mother in law, and for your husband - my mother, the most near and dear people. Do not complain about it, you think, unfair accusations and attacks in his address, and in no case shall make no addictive dispute and not to find out the relationship with her husband, because it is not clear whose side he will, be smarter and survive.
And remember that not every mother-in-law in a hurry to fight with. Many mothers sons want to find a daughter-daughter. Love-in-law is not necessary, but to respect and listen to her need, because it is still the mother of your spouse. Perhaps showing tact and patience, you will find an ally in-law, and perhaps a close friend.