If you have come to the conclusion that your union can not be saved, and divorce is obvious, the main task for you should be to preserve after her divorce from ex-husband familiarity, especially if you have children together.
Divorce is a huge stress for both partners and it does not matter who was the initiator. Each of you need some time to understand the situation, to cool down and tune in to a new life. Therefore, for a certain period, you better not see each other, and then, after about 2-3 months (someone needs a longer period) in a calm state of already having a cup of coffee and talk to define further the relationship.
Need to meet at a time when you can say with certainty that do not feel the former spouse no hard feelings, jealousy, hatred or revenge.
In addition, in any case, do not configure their children against the father, and do not limit their communication. Children and so hard going through the divorce of parents, it's for you, he's ex-husband and children will always be a father, and this fact does not change. Psychologists say that for the normal development of the child's parent is not enough attention. Not to speak in the presence of children ill of his former wife. Father of the child must always be a good person and a role model.
Another, no less important factor in building a relationship with the former spouse is the lack of hopes and illusions to renew old relationships. Do not treat your meeting, as a reason to return the love and passion. In no case do not enter into an intimate relationship with the ex-spouse, nothing good will come of it, you are only causing pain and torment both themselves and him.
During the meetings do not bring joint visits, first dates, pleasant surprises that have been in your life with a time of love and courtship. It is better to talk about the children, their future, work and so on.
Do not think that if you broke up with her husband, it is necessary to strike out from the life of his family and friends. You have every right to meet with them and call up, unless, of course, this desire is mutual.
And, most importantly, remember that divorce - is not the end of life. Excuse me, let go of resentment and move on.