Quarrel by the rules

Quarrel by the rules
 Popular wisdom says: "Bad peace is better than a good quarrel." But is it always necessary to follow this? Psychologists believe that there is. There are situations in which it is better to quarrel and "let off steam" than to take offense and accumulate offense. However, you need to properly quarrel.

When stormy showdown people very poorly controlled and usually says all that he grieved and really bothering him. Provide an opportunity to speak to the partner. In addition, it can help you find out what your opponent is thinking really. Listen to his claims, and you will understand that it is important, and that is annoying.

If during an argument you can not control yourself and hear what's around and just shout, beat the dishes, and no matter what do not pay attention, but this, too, can find its advantages. Thus, you can throw out all the negative and lighten the atmosphere. After all, according to psychologists, after the partners have expressed previously repressed emotions, brings a state of inner peace.

However, the relief will only "correct" a quarrel. Pay attention to the rules of competent conflict, in which case it will bring relief, will help solve the accumulated problems and even improve relations.

So, rule number one. Always remember that you are not at war, and trying to solve a common problem for you, even in a raised voice. Do not try to defend its position emotionally. Much better to focus on the arguments, and they must be clear to your opponent. To do this, speak the same language with them, building on its values.

The next rule. Do not blame smoothly, allow your partner to fend off the blows. And in any case does not go to the individual. Can not affect things such as nationality, appearance, disability, financial situation. Otherwise, you will cause a person pain. And besides, you yourself will be ashamed of their behavior when the conflict is resolved. Respect yourself and your partner!

And finally, never find out the relationship in humans and especially not to get involved in foreign conflicts. The more witnesses, the harder it is to resolve. Nor should we force them to stand on your side.

Tags: quarrel