In the relations between mother-in-law and contradictions laid initially, because these people have a great difference in age, different gender, taste, habits, opinions, occupation, different experiences, outlook on life and values. Of course, there are Tiffany, who did not become cartoon characters, and live in harmony and peace with its zyatyami and mutual respect. Thus, it is possible. But what makes their relationship to bring these two men to hate?
Mother-in-law-in-law was originally perceived as the source of all ills and problems, grievances and instigator of quarrels. Even if she lives far away, with the young is seen infrequently, its impact on the wife is still considered too harmful and strong. Naturally, the mother-in-law thinks differently, believing that her intervention and advice in family matters daughter helpful and go for good. And in fact, how? In response to the question of objectivity is not expected.
The reason is complicated relationships-in-law and mother in law sometimes is already established relations daughter and mother in the infantile attachment to her mother, and a reluctance to get rid of this dependence. In this case, the young wife turns to her mom on every occasion, and she truly gets chest to protect her child, intervene in matters which are trying to establish their habitual way for themselves. And it is certainly annoying in-law. No one likes when his family was dominated by someone else.
Prejudice to the mother-in-law there, and when there were serious problems in his relationship with his own mother. Everything from childhood hurts and disappointments that she aroused in him, are transferred to the wife's mother. It also happens that infantile men begins comparing the mother with the mother, especially if raised by his mother, one without a father, and these comparisons are not in favor of the mother in law. Irritation is decidedly all - from cooking to vote. Try - do not try, but the mother-in-law come to mind would be difficult, especially if a young family with their attention his mother also does not leave.
And the most frequent manifestation of negative attitude to the mother occurs when a man at her involuntarily projecting their dissatisfaction wife. He believes in the wife's mother guilty shortcomings daughter asks her for a disappointment experienced by them in relation to his wife. Thus, in-law carries with it all the accumulated aggression on her mother.
Mother-in-law pays in all these cases on other people's accounts. And how would she please not, no matter how good did not try to be, it is still at it, nothing happens. Only time will judge in such cases. May take years before the son-in will begin to understand that mother-in-law does not try to impose their advice. But always happy to respond to requests without requiring a response no thanks.
Time clarify contradictions, and the relationship will become smoother and quieter. But this requires a lot of patience, love for children, common sense and a desire to see them happy, even if she is suffering from undeserved insults.
If the choice of the mother-daughter love it all much easier - it will itself try to establish reasonable relations. But if you do not like in-law, and the relationship with his wife is poor, then there is nothing good to wait is not necessary. And if we add to this reluctance to make concessions, heavy nature, the image of the mother in law jokes seem white and fluffy compared to what the mother can go to shield from the unfortunate choice of his daughter.
In turn, the daughter is often caught in the middle - the husband and mother. She expressed the claims on both sides, two native person constantly forced her to choose between them. And do not all are happy there. These native people for her husband and mother, do not understand how hard it is for his wife and daughter be between them all the time buffer to smooth out the contradictions extinguish quarrels.
To counter-law and mother in law is a lot of different reasons. To build relationships and make them calm, we must remember that they are based on respect for other people's views and opinions, not to impose their own principles and the desire to go to meet each other. By mutual desire and mother-in-law can do their kind. It is very important for the happiness and prosperity!