West family life does not involve close contact with the family of her husband. There is normal to gather the whole family in a Thanksgiving Day and Christmas, and mother to see her husband only in photographs and occasionally talk on the phone. Russian patriarchal tradition, when his wife was to enter after the wedding, her husband's family and honor his parents as his, now found only in a very remote villages, and it is very rare. But also from the western family morals, we are still far. Of course, if you and your mother in law live in different cities, which often occurs in those who create family after studying in another city or move to a new location, you will not be difficult to keep it polite distance relationship.
But in those families where the woman lives in the territory of the husband and his family, or where in-law, who lives in the neighborhood, often comes to visit son and grandchildren, you have to work on building relationships, sometimes being "between two fires." Here you will be certain rules that should be followed.
In-law - a grown man with his system of values, attitude to life, the family, their advantages and disadvantages. It is best to take this man, not even trying to mentally remake it. Often thank her for what she gave birth to and raised a wonderful son, your husband. Any mother will be pleased to hear it. If your relationship with your spouse could be better, not to involve his mother in their conflicts, do not try to criticize him with her. Keep your family boundaries, and pre-law designate areas of your responsibility and topics that you are discussing together, and which should be avoided. For example, if you live together, the mistress of the kitchen it can be, and raising children, you can work on together, you eat, and buy everything separately, or to pay its share, paying a flat or food - all you need to talk over, and then observe.
Keep any dialogue in-law from the perspective of respect to her and her life experiences. It sometimes happens that in-law - a man far from everything that you instilled in childhood and that was the norm in your family. But even in this case it is not necessary to see it as an enemy. Try to find this man of dignity and what in-law should learn. It can be a great hostess or needlewoman, wise in matters of relationship, she gets on well with your kids or just an interesting and sociable people - are not closed, allow yourself to learn more about it and learn something in her life for themselves.
The most important thing in a relationship with her mother in law - your desire to perceive it as a native person, using every opportunity to become closer to her. And if you are patient, friendly and wise, mother-in even the most difficult character to be your ally and support.