The crisis of family relations. Who is to blame?

The crisis of family relations. Who is to blame?
 Quarrel quarrel, conflict to conflict, scandal scandal. And you are almost ready to file for divorce. Here we are, and how sunk, completely incomprehensible. A month ago, rejoiced at the sight of each other, and now sleep in different rooms. You really so convenient? Or you can not accept the fact that the name of the hurricane that sweeps away your family life, really "Crisis"?

Without quarrels and conflicts to live simply impossible, it would be boring. But it all depends on how it affects the future life. Conflict makes people grow, strive to achieve something new, including family relations. Unless it conflicts with destructive force. Inflate out of molehills and everyone can, but on the contrary, to squeeze an elephant to fly, can not please everyone.

In this situation, the crisis seems to us "elephant", but take it apart piece by piece, understand and grasp the reasons for making conclusions and move towards each other, you will realize that it is the same "fly", which has long been absorbed into itself like a sponge events of the past time. To realize that the crisis in the party, just does not work. We strive not to impose their lives on standard templates society and denies any manifestations. But the fact remains, as in the proverb: "Love is like a fire, do not stick kinesh - turn off". So here you need to develop relations. If you live 8 years civil marriage, you are sure to sign it last? Or if you are married and live happily for the fifth year, and for children in principle do not think, or your spouse (a) does not want to think about it. This impasse. No development - no future. But strange as it may seem, it is the development and provokes a crisis. In the period of adaptation to the new personality changes we are most prone to conflict, strife and discord, because of emotional overload.

What changes are inherent in family life:

The first year of marriage, the establishment of life, addiction to each other, you compromise, something to adjust to, become something softer, something hairy.

The birth of the baby. This is the third or fourth year, carrying a change of status of both parents, additional responsibility, physical and psychological burden.

The appearance of a second child or leave the mother to work for 5-7 years. A change of scenery for a woman, if the second child - twice the cost, effort, sleepless nights. If you return to work routine, then it is time to adapt, rebuild their job skills, experience and knowledge. Period where the woman realized not only as a wife and mother, but as a careerist.

The next period - 14-18 years of marriage, it's like the calm before the storm. Everything is there, and the children and the house and the car, and the crisis of middle age in the head. Both women and men experience it the same way, but spouse may seek to show that he is full of energy, so at this time of steam traps divorce, because of changes. A woman is experiencing a change in hormonal levels, which also causes stress and depression. This kind of marker for both what you have achieved. Above do not jump, but the desire is still there.

The fifth period is associated with the release of the spouse (s) for retirement. This is a painful stage in which people feel useless, forgotten, unnecessary. Well, if for retirement your family will be held, with dozens of grandchildren, with a house full of bustling life, then time to experience will remain.

If you ask who is to blame in all these crises? The answer is - the time it changes people, their relationship to each other, their feelings, their worldview. Way to gently step over these uneasy "flies", and thanks to our psyche "elephants", to be precise through family crises, will your patience, mutual respect, love and understanding everything that is happening. The main thing is that these stages in the family life - a notch, like a tree, it moves to the infinite happiness in the face of your grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Tags: family, relationships, crisis stage