It is equally important to find a life with ex-husband facts, for which you can express gratitude to him. For example, your children together. Their appearance, despite all the difficulties, fill your life with joy and meaning. Perhaps you purchased a new personal qualities and material goods, for all this, you can thank the former husband.
You should try to find the meaning or the reason for his actions. Most likely, your divorce both sides are guilty, so it would be wrong to shoulder the load on offense only one shoulder. Better understand and forgive each other.
If you need to meet up with her ex-husband to solve some problems, try to talk calmly, you can not remember the past grievances, and each time the transfer subject to the reasons for and details of the divorce.
In any case it is not recommended to build relationships by manipulating the feelings of the child. Children should be outside the conflict, they should always feel the love and support of both parents, even if you think that you can do without it.
It is best to build relationships, presenting at the same time that you work colleagues or distant relatives. No one can force you to love him, hate him but it makes no sense. You have to communicate, but all their feelings and emotions need to hide deep in any way not to show.
It is not necessary to impose ex-husband over their communication. If he has no desire to see you or your child (as is also possible), let her stay in his own right. Of course, you need to periodically remind him of parental obligations. However, do not try to make and maintain friendships with his new family, if necessary he will let you know about this possibility.