All of us would like to receive from our lives pleasure and happiness, and this applies especially to family life and to love. Love and happiness - the concept is almost inseparable from each other.
However, very often an appointment with the consultant come women with complaints of his family, the fact that they have a life that is not right.
One of the most common complaints I have called "Syndrome exhausted housewife." If you go to any grocery store or market, you can see a lot of middle-aged women, apparently suffering from this syndrome. In the hands of - heavy bags, husband and children are waiting for her at home, her back bent, and face a hard life has left its mark - early wrinkles. It is difficult to name a woman to her more suitable word "chick with purse."
Let's hear what the exhausted housewife says advisor if accidentally ingested an appointment ...
- In our apartment I take exactly two and a half meters square, and everything else - my husband and children. I had nowhere to go and no time to his personal affairs. So I do not do them. I do only his family.
She says that is completely dissolved in the family, and the boundaries of her personal "I" erased. People no longer understand where it ends, "I" and begins "family". She has no personal space, no personal time, not his personal affairs, and that it oppresses.
- I bear full responsibility for the fact that my family was provided. I must be a good wife and mother, so it's - my duties.
It weighs a constant sense of duty and responsibility for the entire family. Her life has turned into one big "I have, I owe."
- I'm working, I buy food, wash, cook, do chores around the house. Except for me, this one will not do. I can not leave them hungry, and their shirts - dirty. And nobody helps me, nobody in my family do not care who will do these chores - of course, I am.
In the family, there is no sharing of domestic responsibilities. "Auntie with purse" so brought his household and taught them to the fact that all the household chores she performs it. Often the husband and children of these women can not even fry an egg, because it has always done it.
- Imagine a cow grazing in a meadow? Cow eats grass, flowers, and none of it is not reproaches, because life is so arranged. Grass - is its food, the cow can not eat it. And who is to blame, that it so happened that this cow - it is my household, and this grass - it's me?
Have exhausted housewives appear negative thoughts about the family. They gradually as the development of the syndrome, replace the joy, love and happiness, which once were the basis for marriage and having children.
- I I spin like a squirrel in a cage. I feel that this is - a vicious circle from which there is no escape.
This way of life that leads to the woman "syndrome tortured Housewives" really looks like a vicious circle. And if you - by accident or natural - are trapped in this circle, we can remember the famous proverb: "the vicious circle has at least one output. It is located in the same place and the entrance." And in order to escape from the "vicious circle" to cease to be an aunt again become a woman, you need to change your lifestyle in general.
Let's eavesdrop on what recommendations on lifestyle is usually given in such cases the consultant. What are the ways out of the "vicious circle"?
Firstly, you need to realize that you are there. Look at yourself in the mirror. Look at it from the side, as you walk down the street, on the way dress, the way look. Mentally compare themselves with the image of Venus de Milo (this woman) - and with the way "with her aunt purse." Tell yourself honestly, who you like more?
Be sure to select for themselves their personal space and time. This means that you must have your own room in the apartment, his locker with clothes, your desktop, your personal time that you devote yourself only. Let it will be at least two hours a day - the two hours when you bring myself up (slowly, not on the run), when you exercise, when you communicate with your, personal friends and girlfriends. Protect this space and this time against the encroachments of their home (they are not likely to perceive this innovation with joy, will protest and try to continue to move the border).
Divide household responsibilities between all family members. It will also require a hassle - you will need to teach them to perform the functions that were previously not peculiar to them. Very often women objected, saying, for example, that "My husband can not even make the tea, he certainly something shed or break". But actually it is not, it is an illusion that exists only in the mind exhausted housewife. And while it's not as easy on the need to give this illusion - same for the benefit of themselves.
Discard the words "I have, I owe." Every time you do something with a sense of "I must", ask yourself a simple question:
- Who should I?
- Why should I?
- What happens if I do not?
Remember and get "I want." Look for these things that you would deal with pleasure. Maybe it will be something that is usually not enough time. "And try out" unusual and unfamiliar to you classes and hobbies. Remember, what you really want and want to do.
Begin to give yourself debt. Debts are - these are the things that you did not allow yourself to buy. This time you do not spend on themselves. These are your friends and girlfriend, communication that you need, but you forget about it. Debt - this is also your physical form (when the last time you were doing exercises? When was the last time in nature?)
Break your habits and stereotypes. If every morning you drink coffee - drink tea. If you go to work the same way - change the route. Change your posture when making love. If you do this, you'd be surprised how many new experiences so far been hidden from you, how much are you deprived.
Finally, draw yourself a picture of your ideal life. Picture of how you would like to live, what would you like to do, what to enjoy. It can be really drawing made with markers or crayons. It may also be a story, an essay on this topic. Take this time - and compares each passing day with this picture, try to approach her. And if you persist in this, the day will come when you will say to yourself: "It was a perfect day of my ideal life!"