Life scenarios. Winners and losers

Life scenarios. Winners and losers
 Oh, these newfangled Americanisms! All of us are now divided into "winners" and "losers", "successful" and "losers." Interestingly, in Russia formed a special understanding of these terms, sense-element of which is a material well-being, or "win-win". Ie "Udacnik" we tend to refer to a person who does not lose and never in anything. But it does not happen to a person is not never lost. Who, then, called "winners"?

Among psychologists are of the opinion that talk about the psychology of lay people need textbooks, and professionals - for fiction. But in this case there is a poem that describes the life scenario winner is better than ten volumes of scientific literature. This "commandment" Rudyard Kipling ( The classic textbook on the same life scenarios is the book Eric Berne, "Games People Play". But let's take a brief stop on those aspects of life scenarios that characterize the winner in this, the deepest sense of the word.

Firstly, the winner - it's not the kind of person who never loses. This is a man who knows how to play. What does this mean? First of all, the fact that he is not looking for those responsible for their failures, including himself. Feelings of guilt rather characterizes the loser. The winner also tries to answer the question "what to do in order to win the next time? "And it usually is. In particular this applies to the ability to recognize and correct their mistakes, not shifting responsibility onto others or circumstances.

Secondly, it does not lose a demoralizing factor, but it stimulates self-improvement. After losing once, it can truly shake the hand of the one who surpassed him. And even learn something from a competitor. Ie his emotional state in this case may be negative, but it is constructive rather than destructive.

Third, it is not the kind of person who has a lot of money. And no one who has a high social status. And no one who has anything better than that of a neighbor. The winner of the one goal and achieve that does not depend on social stereotypes and are not regulated by any other external factors. They are defined only by its own needs and capabilities. And he has just as much as he sees fit. Therefore enlightened in rags would be a successful person, if he set out to achieve enlightenment, not to dress in silk.

It follows a distinctive feature of the winner: he does not set himself goals, which obviously can not reach due to objective reasons. Does not put himself and such purposes, which a priori lower than its capacity. Ie a person who has the motivation to achieve, rather than avoiding failure. And his self-esteem. Being a one-legged, he will not put myself goals to win the Olympic Games in ski racing, but at the Paralympics - completely.

The last thing that should be noted is the fact that the real winner does not seek to snatch victory at any cost. Athlete, "conquering" the champion medal in figure skating is not due to his talent, and with the help of lawyers, is definitely a loser. He just runs to the "mom" in the face of the sports committee of the country, which will produce a medal for it by hook or by crook. His own victory here, although it is not important. He just replaced the goal of "win" to "get the gold medal." But the gold medal in itself does not make him a winner, because if it comes to that, it can and buy at auction.

How does the life scenario winner? As with all scenarios, it is transmitted from parents to children. And in the first place winners - children winners. But, unfortunately, not those who themselves were winners in spite of circumstances or education. Such people often try to plan the lives of their children to the grave, in spite of the wishes, needs and the actual ability of the child. They do it is usually the best of intentions, "to protect children from what they themselves had to go through." But, breaking the life script of their parents, they could not get away from their education scenario. And as a result of raising the losers. Therefore, it would be justified to say that most of life scenario winner - it is an achievement of the whole dynasty, rather than a single generation.

Tags: scenario, motivation, training, winner, achievement, failure, loss