The best way to extinguish the flame - not to give him food. Pull yourself together and do not allow yourself to answer if you are accused. No, not ostentatiously - just let the man talk. No one will talk to emptiness, having said all that had accumulated and not received in response to any accusations, no objection, your opponent is likely to shut up. Maybe he even asks: "What are you silent? "And you reply:" Well, what can I say. " Speak calmly and quietly. Do not yell at him. Even if all the accusations are unfair - it does not matter. You also need now to extinguish the conflict - that extinguish!
Do not generalize. If anyone is to blame for the fact that broke your favorite cup or forgot to buy bread for dinner, do not scream, "It's always! That's the whole you! You always give a damn about my requests! Correct me mother said! "Pull yourself together and tell myself:" It's just a cup, nobody died. " And so, repeat twenty times. You will not notice as you become funny what a moment ago you were ready to rant and rave. It's just fatigue and irritation.
Admitted his guilt. Let it a hundred times wrong - admit now, at this moment. He said irritably that soup again too salty or whatever you again spent a lot of money? Agree with him. In the end, can really too salty, or you really came out of the budget. Agree, and then try to change the situation immediately - replace the soup salad and steak, Obey about spending. Then, when he calmed down a bit, you can talk calmly and maybe it turns out that he was just annoyed because of problems at work, and the soup was lovely.
Sometimes you just walk away. Not slamming the door, without loud phrases - just if you see that your spouse is not ready to speak normally and you chose the target of their bad mood - go away from the scandal. No matter where - in the shop for the same bread, with a dog for a walk to a neighbor. During this time he has time to cool down, but will not start again irritated. Then you can talk quietly.
Invoke the aid of humor. No sarcasm, no mocking irony and a good joke. Need to be tactful that it was really funny, but in any case not hurt. If you burst out laughing together, mono avoid conflict.
Try to be constructive. You something accused. Say, "Well, what would you have done? "" What do you suggest? Maybe I'm wrong - let's try to figure out together. " The person who is willing to cooperate, not just swear and scream. Maybe he povorchu bit, but it will not conflict, but simply working situation
Do not let yourself be manipulated and do not do it themselves. Who knows better close all the weaknesses! Do not apply a blow to the affected area, you will only harden partner and harden themselves. Keep yourself in their hands and not fend off the blows. In this dispute will not win - all lose.
Ask for help. Yes, send a signal SOS. Children grabbed twos? Do not tell him that it was his fault, too. Just say, "I can not cope, you know, I'm not good at physics, but you have graduated from a technical college with honors. Help me! Explain, and I can help them. "