Emotions in relationships

Emotions in relationships
 Each of us had to deal with their own reactions that cause us to wonder. To understand yourself and avoid those moments, you can do self-examination.

"What made me so stupid act yesterday? »
"Why, I almost cried, because he did not want to hurt me."
"Why should I raised her voice to a child, he did nothing to blame! »

Familiar situation? Despite the fact that most of the time we behave sensibly, in some situations, like usual rationality is leaving us, and our emotions and reactions can hardly be called adequate. What is going on within us in such moments?

The thing is that we do not allow yourself to feel childhood some emotion. For example, in early childhood you something very offended mother. Feel hatred for the mother to the child is unacceptable - it's the most important person in his life, in love he desperately needs. As an adult, you meet on your way a person with authority to your mother - and can not experience negative emotions, concealing them false. And while before you are no longer a mother, and you've been up, the child inside of you continues to react in this way.

Conceal from ourselves we can any feelings, and cover them as any. It may be fear, hatred, anger, love, anxiety, guilt. Psevdoemotsii experienced by us with the same intensity as the original, and this is their main threat. Taking false emotion for real, you distorted perception of reality and can not freely use his experience and intelligence to solve the problem.

To understand the situation, you can use the following scheme of self-exploration.

How to feel the hidden emotions.
1. Recognize inappropriate response. Look the part on their behavior. Does it seem to you adequate to the situation? Pay attention to the signs of hidden emotions: intrusive thoughts, anxiety, headache, stress.

2. Feel the external emotion. Sometimes we deliberately try to avoid inappropriate emotion, considering it silly. But in this case it is necessary to feel the emotion that lies behind it.

3. What else do I feel? Remember that the more you feel that was before the fake emotion? It is not so easy, because the hidden emotion lasts only a moment, giving way psevdoemotsii. For example, before you anger suddenly could feel the panic attack.

4. What does this remind you of? When you are in the past responded to the situation in this way? That in connection with this you can remember? It is not necessary to go into intellectual pursuits motives of your behavior, the challenge is to feel and not to speculate. Criteria feelings hidden emotions following:
- Emotion is always accompanied by physiological changes: rapid breathing and heartbeat, tremors, sweating;
- Hidden emotions or equal to, or more intense external fake emotions;
- It replaces the external emotion.

5. Determine the pattern (pattern of behavior). Gather together what has been studied in the previous stages. Now you have a picture of how and why you behave in a given situation.

Immediately get rid of stereotyped behavior will not be easy, but after such self you become more predictable for themselves. You get the freedom to experiment with new ways of solving problems and can apply their intellect and experience to do so. Some effort, and it will avoid a disastrous previous behavior.

Tags: emotions, relationships, conflict, self-therapy, self-study